Every morning, one of my daughters sings in the shower. I mean, she really sings, belting out songs by Adele, Norah Jones, and Jason Mraz (a few of her current favorites) so soulfully that sometimes I get goosebumps. This is a girl, though, who doesn't like attention drawn to herself about such things, so when she emerges into the hallway, dressed for the day, towel wrapped around her head, I just smile and ask her what she'd like for breakfast.
It was a particularly prescient preschool teacher (this alliteration's for you, R.L.) who told me not to make a big deal of her gifts. The teacher was originally from Missouri or whatever state makes sure its residents "warsh" their hands and throw birthday "pour-tees."
I had noticed that when I praised three year-old Isabel for completing a puzzle that her older brothers were still trying to find the edges for or for swinging much higher than all the other kids on the playground, she would just scowl at me. Her response was no more confounding than many other parts of raising four little kids, and I would never have understood it were it not for this teacher.
"I was that way too," the teacher said. "Still am. I like doing things well, but I don't like it when people talk about it. I just want to enjoy my gifts. Myself. Privately." That, of course, made writing a thank you note to her at the end of the year a challenge. Anyway, after this confessional moment in the conference, she switched gears and asked me whether I would like to volunteer to organize the Christmas "pour-tee."
I thought of that today - not only because of my daughter's morning performance - but when I read a wonderful article by Eugene Cho. Among other things, Cho is a blogger, pastor and advocate for the world's poor. I like his writing - it's smart and funny. Cho asks, on Sojourner magazine's blog, readers what are their "life-giving questions."
He asks several questions of himself in order to regain balance in his life and on his spiritual journey. I love his list - he looks at his parenting, marriage, prayer, and also whether he's doing things he loves. Like fishing, exercising, and singing. Things he doesn't need praise for, but from which he gets nourishment (and a restored mojo). The fact that self-care -- or the lack of it -- is an "evergreen" topic in women's and parenting magazines indicates that a lot of us, a lot of the time, are not in balance.
What are your life-giving questions? What would you add to Cho's?
What brings you balance?
Do you remember to sing in the shower or do other things that make you happy?
(I hope my daughter always will.)
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